Showing posts with label inspired by. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspired by. Show all posts

Friday, June 17, 2011

feminine

We all have demons. Mine chase after me at night when the house falls quiet and my mind begins to rest. There in the shadows my demons lie, soft and beguiling, ready to ensnare. Doubt. Vanity. With furtive smiles and drumming fingertips they feast on my virtue until I am hollowed and empty.

I try to quench the demons with words of encouragement but that only feeds them. I attempt to outrun them in service but they never leave my side. I am embarrassed by them and thus my doubt is fed, giving birth to a vanity that grows and growls.

Being a woman is incredibly difficult. Isn't it though? We are conditioned from all sides to be perfection in form, tiny and lithe, shapely legs, slender torsos, elegant shoulders and graceful necks, youthful features and flowing hair. Inside we are ravaged by diets and worries, binges and purges, shopping and guilt, holding up our personal models on pedestals and knowing their perfection can never be reached because it never even existed. The failings that rage inside of me are inside of you all the same.

Being a woman is incredibly complex. To be so fragile, at the whim of a stronger man's desires, yet to be so strong, so capable of influence. In the juxtaposition we sometimes flounder, putting emphasis on what cannot be controlled and ignoring what positive change we can effect. I think all the time that I will be happy once this is tighter or that is slimmer. I will find peace when my hair lays a certain way or if I can just master the perfectly lined eye. I think that I can finally find myself in the right make up of exterior trimmings. The obvious truth is that this path leads nowhere and too far down this road and we will be lost to ourselves forever. It is obvious truth but sometimes I still can't see it.

Some days I want to trade it in and roam free as spirit instead. I want to escape my boundaries and be nothing but light and love, no visage to be seen but just feelings to impress. Or Heidi Klum. That could be good, too. This body of mine is just too constricting, too many limitations. My outsides will never do justice to my insides; my inner is smothered by the trappings of the outer. In moments where I catch myself fresh-faced and happy in reflection I also catch a terror that it will inevitably leave me; my face will retain water, my clothes will tug in the wrong parts, my color will wane, this cannot be, this cannot last.

Rather than find peace in the fallible of these bones and organs we often mistakenly assume the answer can still be found without.

And so we continue to search, but all we find are demons.

- nat the fat rat

took the words right out of my mouth
...
It never occurred to me until college to think about how my body really looked and when that thought sprung up in my head it never went away. In fact it just grew at an alarming rate. It's a constant battle. 

“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.”
-carrie bradshaw

but I wouldn't want to be anybody else.
xxoo
k

Thursday, May 5, 2011

"two drifters off to see the world"

I'm sad to say with all the crazy that is my life right now I missed my dear Audrey's birthday. although I'm sure she understands.
better late then never



“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.”
you & I both Audrey

heres to you for your birthday Audrey
{cheers}

& a few gems to take with you from a real woman of class:

“You can always tell what kind of a person a man really thinks you are by the earrings he gives you”

“I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone.”

“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.”

“There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl's complexion”  

Monday, May 2, 2011

natalie norton

 ... is a photogrpaher I love.
she shot my bridals and I devour her blog whenever she posts.

she also writes on this tumblr page with some other smart/talented ladies. I don't know that much about it because I don't know much about tumblr yet, but I recently read this post by natalie there and I think you should read it too.

Monday, April 18, 2011

in the washington post

I never understood why so many of my friends had come to me at one point or another regarding a hateful, or negative sermon/lesson given about Mormonism at their own church. I never in all my 23 years have been given a lesson or attended a meeting in which the topic or purpose was to belittle another religion. It baffles me that many others spend time and energy belittling what we believe. Maybe it's because people feel "mormons" are so different. I don't feel all that different from my friends and neighbors. I think for the most part its easy/fun to create common-ground with those around me, so I can't be that strange. Anyways what I am really trying to get at is this article. My pretty/prego friend and fellow blogger jackie posted this a few days ago and I felt so refreshed after reading it.

The Christian case for Mormon values

With former Utah governor Jon Huntsman and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney both believed to be gearing up for a run for the presidency, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has again found itself answering questions about what these two prominent members believe.

Post reporter Sandhya Somashekhar wrote in a story published Tuesday that Mormon leaders see the ascendancy of these and other Mormons (such as convert Glenn Beck) as a sign "that the community has finally 'arrived,'" but added "researchers say there remains a deep mistrust of Mormons and that little has changed in public opinion to suggest that voters will be more open this year than they were in 2007." If conservative Christian and Mormons share a political agenda, why do suspicions still plague Mormon politicians? Do media personalities such as Glenn Beck help or hurt the cause?

God works in mysterious ways to perform his wonders. Old Testament prophets complained about the instruments God chose, but God went on being God despite their complaints. 2012 is likely to give Americans two serious candidates for president that are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS). Many conservative Christians, for good and bad, get inspiration and information from Glenn Beck, who is also a member of the Church.

Should Americans be concerned? Bluntly, no, though those of us who are not Mormon should be depressed that such a small group has outworked, out thought, and out hustled us. Mormon success should spur traditional Christians, who outnumber Mormons by tens of millions, to do better.

Sadly ignorance of the LDS Church is widespread in our culture. Despite over a century of faithful citizenship and embracing family values, stupid stereotypes remain. Magically much of the media easily remembers Glenn Beck is Mormon, but keeps forgetting that Harry Reid is as well. Sacred garments on Christians and Jews are normal, but sacred garments on Mormons?

Of course, there is a vocal fringe of Americans who think any religious person is nuts. These equal-opportunity offenders can be ignored as invincibly ignorant. They don't respect Mormons, because they don't respect Christians, Jews, Muslims, or anybody who thinks we are more than computers made out of meat.

There is another group, sadly not so tiny, that cannot be friends or co-laborers with anyone who does not share their theology or ideology. This sectarianism is the bane of any movement, but most Americans know we can learn and work with almost anyone if they share our values in some area.

There are no good reasons not to consider voting for a Mormon. Theologically, I disagree with the faith's teachings. My professional speaking has included pointed academic encounters with LDS professors about our areas of disagreement. Simultaneously, serious disagreements have not prevented our making common cause on many issues.

Studying Mormonism closely did not make me a Mormon, to the contrary, but it did give an abiding respect for certain things the LDS Church gets right. They have demonstrated things worth knowing. If this is a Mormon moment in American history, there is a reason for it. Their virtues have particular civic relevance today and their theological vices (from my point of view) do not. The LDS I know love America , urge good behavior on their members, and promote many traditional American values. If that bothers you, vote for somebody else--the LDS will fight and die in the American forces for your right to do so.

The LDS church made North America sacred space. With Native Americans and Spanish mission builders in California , they have loved this land and made it part of their story. The Mormon revelation, whatever its origins, is centered in North America .

Part of that epic is actual Mormon history: born, bred, and thriving in the United States of America . Mormonism is old enough by American standards to feel "ancient," but young enough to make the founding stories easy for Americans to understand. Joseph Smith received his revelations closer than four score years after the American founding. Any literate English speaker can read founding Mormon documents without the need for much translation or scholarly explanation, but knowledge of American history is vital. Most Americans look abroad for holy land," but Mormons look here.

This gives them a passion for this place difficult for anyone else to match. Other religious groups must work harder to match this sense of place that the LDS Church has naturally.

A great weakness of our lives today is isolation and loneliness. Mormonism is one solution to that problem for many. LDS Church services to members and communities are a free market model for private charity. I have personally seen LDS charity help families that were not LDS, but related to a member The charity gave work-centered help that met needs without sacrificing dignity. The commendable community found in Mormonism should be imitated not attacked.

For good and bad, Mormonism is deeply American. Born on our frontier and nurtured in our wilderness, American values are Mormon values. And yet, no LDS swaggers into the culture assuming he will be accepted. Mormons know the imperfections of American life. An American mob murdered their founder. As a result of their history, Mormons have a thoughtful and subtle take on religion in the public square. This last week Dallin H. Oaks, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, gave an important speech at the Chapman University School of law in California on religious liberty.

I am sure Glenn Beck would agree that more Americans should read that speech, even if it meant turning off his program. Oaks, a professor and judge, not Beck, represents the best civic face of the LDS Church .

If this is, as the Washington post suggests, a Mormon moment, it is because Mormons clung to truths now unfashionable and addressed questions others ignore. They suffered exile in their own land, persecution, and the need to change important ideas to be part of the broader culture. This American experience taught them good lessons about America . Being right is powerful and most LDS are right on many of today's big issues: the nature of family, the protection of life, defense of religious liberty, and republican values.

Traditional Christians should learn from their example and patriotic Americans should celebrate their effective service. Mormons like Harry Reid will never get my vote, because his policy ideas do not match with mine, but a Mormon like Mitt Romney could, because I support his good ideas.

Providence works in peculiar ways and it is particularly odd for an evangelical and orthodox Christian to be grateful for this Mormon moment in American history. But if a biblical prophet could celebrate the pagan emperor Cyrus for being God's man to free his people, surely we can praise our Mormon countrymen for sounding a trumpet call to rally America to life and liberty .

Washington post article written by John Mark Reynolds | February 9, 2011; 7:29 pm et