Wednesday, July 20, 2011

a single battle lost, but not the war

so google plus is supposed to be the latest and greatest right? so when I got an invite, I signed up, thinking oh another fun google thing... whatever. then I noticed there was a link to picassa web albums. I’d never used them before so when I saw there were a bunch of albums with all my blog's photos in it I was confused. I thought google+ must have copied all these photos from my google blogger account… I don’t really want these on my google+ account. so I proceeded to delete all the unwanted albums.

the secret is...

when you upload an image through blogger it is hosted in picassa web albums, deleting those albums broke all the links to every image I had ever posted.
{translation every image I'd ever posted was now a tiny blue box with a question mark}

painful. so very painful.
I just had to die for a few minutes for the hours of work I’d put into my blogs. I mean blood.sweat.tears.

it was all gonzo. this teeny tiny little corner of the giant www is my place and it means something to me. something big. even though it means next to nothing to most everyone else, it was a haven for me. a therapy.
and now it is oh so broken. if i am really being truthful it is was not a sadness for the loss of my years of blogging, but a sadness for all the losses I've had these past few months. It was the last straw.

it was sadness and tiredness. I felt 100% spent.

and then God stepped in. I could sense Him touching my life through others.

melissa sent me this post to read

”Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end—Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you:
(from the sanctified pearl blog)

and very slowly my heart started beating again.

and I was humbled like I have never been before.
because I know that he has called my name, that these rough waters will not bring me down. I am beginning to truly understand the healing power that can come from simply having gratitude.

so now I am rebuilding day by day… post by post and I know that I am not alone.


Ann Barlow said...

Your blog never ceases to inspire me! For that I am grateful :)

Magen said...

I told my friend about my same blog dilemma and she told me about yours. Oh how I feel your pain. Years of blog pictures gone. I lost all my pics the same way as you. Sending my deepest least we know all the memories existed even if the pics aren't there to prove it.

.kaitlyn. said...

magen: it was a HUGE oversight by google. Im still in shock that it actually happened, but you are so right. no one, not even picassa, can take away the memories. I know it sounds horrible, dreadful right now. I was overwhelmed to but you should think about rebuilding. Take it a day a time a few posts here and there. I've been plugging away at mine and it feels good to be able to do something! You can do it!!!


Whitney said...

Friend! I am so SO so sorry. Seriously! I can not even imagine. Glad you have found perspective on everything though, and remember what matters most. You are never alone.

Hope you guys are doing great!